Today we are honored to have  mindset coach and motivational speaker Brad Bizjack on the podcast – and we are diving deep into all the obstacles that keep us ‘stuck’ where we currently are (even though we know the goals we want to achieve). 

Brad and I are talking about real reasons you haven’t hit your goals – from subconscious beliefs, toxic positivity, and why our emotional thermostat always brings us back to our ‘normal.’ Brad has worked with over 75,000 people worldwide, and today, he’s here to help us unpack why we stay stuck in the same cycles — even when we “know what to do.”

Have you ever had one of those “ugh, why do I keep doing this to myself?” moments?
Maybe it’s the “I swear I’ll start fresh Monday” diet dance, or that familiar cycle of trying to control everything until it all slips through your fingers and you find yourself elbow-deep in a bag of chips.

Friend, you’re not broken—you’re just human.

In this week’s Food Freedom Society episode, I sat down with mindset magician (and officially our first male guest—cue the confetti!) Brad Bizjack, to talk about how our sneaky subconscious keeps us stuck—and how to finally stop self-sabotaging.

Grab a cozy drink, and let’s unpack this beautifully messy thing called being human.

The Real Problem Isn’t the “How-To”—It’s the “Who-Am-I”

Brad opened my eyes with this one: change isn’t about ability, it’s about identity.

We can read every self-help book, follow all the “positive vibes only” accounts, and still end up back at square one—because deep down, our brains are whispering,

“Yeah, but that’s not you.”

And guess what? Your brain isn’t being rude—it’s just trying to keep you safe.
The brain’s main job isn’t to make you happy or fit into your jeans from 2016. It’s literally wired for survival. So when you start changing old habits (even good changes), your brain’s like:

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—new salad habit? That sounds dangerous. Go find the cookies.”

It’s not sabotage; it’s safety.

The Toxic Positivity Trap

Brad said it best:

“Positivity for the sake of positivity is just as toxic as pessimism. It’s avoidance with a shiny bow.”

Boom. Mic drop.
We’ve all heard the “just think happy thoughts!” advice—but if you’ve ever stood in front of a mirror trying to repeat affirmations you don’t believe, you know it feels about as natural as hugging a cactus.

Real mindset work isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s asking why we feel the way we do, and digging up the roots—so we can finally plant something new. (Brad calls this the “pear-tree lesson,” and I’m still obsessed with it.)

Why We Keep Repeating the Same Old Patterns

Perfectionism, control, guilt—oh my!
Brad explained that these patterns often come from childhood beliefs about love and worthiness.
If you grew up thinking you had to be perfect to earn love, you probably carried that into adulthood. And when the pressure to be perfect gets too heavy?
Boom. Enter bingeing, procrastination, or “Netflix and forget about it” mode.

We swing between perfection and guilt like we’re training for the emotional Olympics.

The fix?
Recognize that perfection was never the requirement for love—it was just the rule your younger self made to stay safe.

The Motivation Myth (and Why Your “Thermostat” Keeps Resetting)

Here’s a fun fact: motivation isn’t lightning that strikes when the stars align.
It’s the effect of taking action, not the cause.

We all have an emotional “thermostat” set at a certain temperature.
If yours is set to anxiety, even when life heats up (aka things are going great), your brain will subconsciously cool things down again because it’s more comfortable at 65 degrees of mild chaos.

That’s why we self-sabotage. Not because we’re broken, but because our nervous system loves the familiar.

The good news? You can raise your emotional thermostat. Brad gave three quick ways:

1. Move your body.
   You don’t have to run 12 miles like Brad did before our call (I’m sweating just thinking about it). A walk, a dance break, or even burpees if you’re feeling spicy—movement changes your chemistry fast.
2. Shift your focus.
   Ask: What’s working? What can I control right now? What’s good about today? Gratitude is basically free brain therapy.
3. Watch your words.
   The way we describe things determines how heavy they feel. Instead of “I binged again,” try “I ate more than my body needed.”
   Same reality, way less shame.

Feelings Aren’t Enemies—They’re Invitations

Most of us treat emotions like uninvited guests: “Oh no, anxiety’s here—hide the snacks!”
But Brad reminded us that emotions are temporary messengers, not permanent roommates.

The trick is to welcome them.
When you let yourself feel anxiety, guilt, or sadness without judgment, those emotions lose their power.

It’s not about fixing the feeling—it’s about feeling it, then letting it move through.

So, What Now?

If you’re tired of white-knuckling your goals or wondering why “just think positive” doesn’t cut it, Brad’s Success Accelerator Challenge might just be your next right step.

It’s a free five-day experience where you’ll uncover your hidden limiting beliefs, learn how to rewire them, and actually feel the shift—not just understand it logically.

I’ll be there too (because who doesn’t love a little mindset makeover party?).

You can grab the link in the show notes. Seriously, don’t sleep on this—it only happens once a year.

Parting Thoughts

As Brad said:

“Life is always happening for you, not to you.”

Even the hard stuff, the messy middle, the nights you swear you’ll do better tomorrow—they’re all shaping you into someone stronger, wiser, and more grounded.

So the next time your brain tries to pull you back into old patterns, smile, grab a metaphorical pear tree, and remind yourself:

“I’m learning to grow differently this time.” 🌱

Follow me for daily tips on Instagram! @kellylwellness

Are you ready to stop overeating and finally be in control around food? Watch my FREE training How to Stop Binge Eating (Without Cutting Out Your Favorite Foods) to learn how it’s possible!